It's Too Late

drivin away for the first time
not sayin what was on my mind
a flash of life, a heartbeat
something so right

you looked back and it would be too long
til I saw you again

it's too late
to tell you that I need you
it's too late
to hold you one last time
it's too late to be under the stars
one more night
but it'll be all right

saying goodbye the second time
we'd leave it all behind that night
what a beautiful day
when you lifted my face
to yours for the first time

I saw your tear and knew it would end
but I didn't care back then


it's too late
to tell you that I need you
it's too late
to hold you one last time
it's too late to be under the stars
one more night
but it'll be all right

watching your face the last time
keeping distance, biding time
realizing two feet is too far
to be away from you

I walked away cuz I knew you were gone
what I would have done for one last kiss


it's too late
to tell you that I loved you
it's too late
to hold you one last time
it's too late to be under the stars
one more night
but it's gotta be alright

For You (I'd Do it Anyhow)

Your brown eyes still fade out of my dream when I wake up and you're not there
I still see you sleeping with your mop of messed up hair
I can feel the coldness of that June night
the eight hours that  I froze because you couldn't hold me tight

and I want to feel alive again
I wanna rewind back, to the times when

I was yours, and the world disappeared
that one summer that I lost all my fears
now it's impossible, miles made sure of that, my dear
We couldn't go back now
but I'd do it anyhow

now his brown eyes fill up my days, and yesteryear
I'm changing, my hearts breaking in different ways- my future's unclear
the only thing worse than lovin' someone in a far off land
is having them right beside you and not being able to hold their hand


and I want to feel alive again
I wanna rewind back, to the times when

I was yours, and the world disappeared
that one summer that I lost all my fears
now it's impossible, miles made sure of that, my dear
We couldn't go back now
but I'd do it anyhow


and I want to feel alive again
I wanna rewind back, to the times when

Last Wish

walking in your shadow
so long as headlights come toward us
the gentle rain falls
you've got her on the phone
as I step alone silently
this is so wrong
I should be holding your hand
we should be owning this land

So many songs I've written
So many things to choose
to tell you I feel
but this time I might lose
cuz if I tell you I want
just one more night
what would you do baby?
what would you choose?

my head says reliently
that I'm fine
my heartbeat drums defiantly
just hold me one more time
staring at the stars
you're twelve inches away
but they're closer than we are
you left my love in yesterdays


So many songs I've written
So many things to choose
to tell you I feel
but this time I might lose
cuz if I tell you I want
just one more night
what would you do baby?
what would you choose?

just grant me one last wish
right here, where we met
could we have just one last kiss?
keep me safe by your side
until morning light
then I can forget


So many songs I've written
So many things to choose
to tell you I feel
but this time I might lose
cuz if I tell you I want
just one more night
what would you do baby?
what would you choose?

Whistle

The morning fog is thick like a lighting forest
somewhere south of where my head rests at night
but my heart rests perfectly in your presence
and when you're gone I know it's classic but it bites

I don't want freedom- I want trapped in you
I don't want everything- what I need is just us two

sometimes I blow this whistle like I'm callin a time out
on my heartbeat- I just can't take it
or maybe I just realized I crossed the line again
sometimes I sit in silence not movin
and then blame the weather
for the chill I'm feeling
but I'm not going anywhere

Forever

Lookin towards the road that goes on and on
No perfect town, no port, no planet to land on
I don’t know if you just make me smile
Or if I fell in love
But maybe I don’t need to know
Maybe time will tell, maybe eyes will show

And if we’re not forever
Don’t let your heart break
Cuz nothing that happens
Is ever a mistake
If we’re not forever
Well it’ll have to be ok
Cuz right now’s all we really ever have anyway

Tryina get it all right the first time
I fell once or twice, you picked me up like the sun
Every word you say and whisper just makes me smile
And when you’re gone
I can’t help but cry a little while
Maybe you’ll stay near, maybe I’ll go

And if we’re not forever
Don’t let your heart break
Cuz nothing that happens
Is ever a mistake
If we’re not forever
Well it’ll have to be ok
Cuz right now’s all we really ever have anyway


And in ten years I can’t see it
But maybe that’s alright, love
Cuz maybe God wants me to blindly  trust the
Plans he has for us
And maybe our paths will never let us
Meet again in this life…
 but that’s ok
We’re here tonight



And if we’re not forever
Don’t let your heart break
Cuz nothing that happens
Is ever a mistake
If we’re not forever
Well it’ll have to be ok
Cuz right now’s all we really ever have anyway

Stray

I gotta flee this cage and
Shake off all the leaves
In this dense city
Of paper trust and heart thieves
I gotta find a place to be free
I gotta find my own brand of America
Gotta find a life less hysterical
Somewhere I can truly believe.

Someday I’ll fly away
Look out of the window
Watch it all fade as it stays
Behind me as I move forward
Without knowing what’s in store
I can’t wait until my heart breaks
Pretty soon I’m gonna go
Yeah, I’m gonna be a stray

Away from deceptive smiles and
Traffic, and concrete things
Oh what a pity
We get trapped  inside these
Self imposed locks with such ease
I need a floor big enough so I can truly dance
I need sky so blue I can fill up without romance
Somewhere I am all that I need

Someday I’ll fly away
Look out of the window
Watch it all fade as it stays
Behind me as I move forward
Without knowing what’s in store
I can’t wait until my heart breaks
Pretty soon I’m gonna go
Yeah, I’m gonna be a stray



I’m sorry I you can’t be it
I’m sorry, but just please quit
Tryin to make me fit a mold
I’ve never done what I’ve been told



Someday I’ll fly away
Look out of the window
Watch it all fade as it stays
Behind me as I move forward
Without knowing what’s in store
I can’t wait until my heart breaks
Pretty soon I’m gonna go
Yeah, I’m gonna be a stray

Hit Play

Let’s  rewind as if I wasn’t a fool and it wasn’t too late
To change my mind and tell you I wanted you, and that our love was fate
Cuz I dream about you and I think about you it’s a constant fight
To get your eyes out of my head and fall asleep every single night

And I wanna know if you’re lookin at the moon, thinking bout how I see it too
And I wann know what’s your heart these days, yeah I want the truth

But don’t tell me
I’m six feet off the ground
Just smile love
Don’t tell me you don’t need me
Don’t bring me down
Believe in
The here and now
When we’re together
we’ll make it somehow
Maybe it’s too late
Or maybe we could just just hit play

Let’s fast forward to acity with tall street lights isn’t it great?
To a place in our lives where we’re the only ones, and it isn’t too late
To call you mine, to be alright, to see your life
But you’re half gone, I know it’s wrong, can we make it alright?

And I wanna know if you’re thinking about what we could have been
And I wanna know if you wish that I could understand

But don’t tell me
I’m six feet off the ground
Just smile love
Don’t tell me you don’t need me
Don’t bring me down
Believe in
The here and now
When we’re together
we’ll make it somehow
Maybe it’s too late
Or maybe we could just  hit play

If you have to stop, please don’t say it in plain English,
Don’t cut me off so cold
If we can be, please just show me in any way
In every way
Take my breath away

But don’t tell me
I’m six feet off the ground
Just smile love
Don’t tell me you don’t need me
Don’t bring me down
Believe in
The here and now
When we’re together
we’ll make it somehow
Maybe it’s too late
Or maybe we could just just hit play

When I Tell You I Miss You

When I tell you I miss you
It’s not out of habit
It’s to let you know you cross my mind every minute
Of evey day
When I tell you I miss you
It’s not to make conversation
It’s to try to show my elation
At the very words you speak

Cuz I miss your voice
And your laughter
I miss you smile
Your arms
- in evey possible way
I miss your faces
And the silly things we do
All the little things that make me me
When I’m with you

When I tell you I miss you
It’s not to drive a point home
It’s to let you see I’m thinking
Of every game we used to play
When I tell you that I miss you
It’s not to be dramatic
Only to claim how drastically
Dull my world is when you’re not here

Cuz I miss your voice
And your laughter
I miss you smile
Your arms
- in evey possible way
I miss your faces
And the silly things we do
All the little things that make me me
When I’m with you

Your sounds fade slowly
From my memory
I need to hear you speak
In your own melody
Your eyes get darker as I
Lose grip on what they told me
I die a little inside when I forget
How it used to feel when you’d hold me

Cuz I miss your voice
And your laughter
I miss you smile
Your arms
- in evey possible way
I miss your faces
And the silly things we do
All the little things that make me me
When I’m with you

Wreckage

Letting tears fall again
Running up the stairs again
Thinking bout what could have been
Regretting every word I hadn’t said

The stars are reaching down again
I think they wanna be my friends
I’m tied down by my own chains
These concrete walls drive me insane

I don’t know what to do with myself
Anymore, anymore
Something’s gotta give
Somethings gonna break
I could run away and leave this all behind but
What would I take away-ay, what would I take away?

Realizing all love
that I ignored
Thinking bout the things I’ve yelled
Every stomp on the floor

The wind is driving me again
Whispering go south for this winter
The heavy snow falls all around me
Melted by my rage

I don’t know what to do with myself
Anymore, anymore
Something’s gotta give
Somethings gonna break
I could run away and leave this all behind but
What would I take away-ay, what would I take away?


I need a savior
A face, a love
I need arms to hold me
Grace to smile from above
Candidly I’ll tell you
If you take the time to ask
This beautiful wreckage
Needs to mend at last

I don’t know what to do with myself
Anymore, anymore
Something’s gotta give
Somethings gonna break
I could run away and leave this all behind but
What would I take away-ay, what would I take away?

They're no older than twelve... standing with one hip out, as if they're Beyonce.

Two girls clamour through the dusty isles. One wears a short jeans skirt, the other bright blue stretch shorts. They're no older than twelve. Yet they stand with one hip out, as if they're Beyonce. They talk as if perhaps eighteen or even forty years had made them bitter and harsh. One yells at someone one the other end of her cell phone.
A Hispanic couple bickers playfully. He sets a box on her head. She glares at him. If I had a man that tall, dark and handsome, I'd make sure not to look at him that way. Yet he just chuckles at her scowl and says something in cheerful Spanish slang.
A mother and her daughter dash to the crowded check out. Both look weary- but still put their food on the belt; pinto beans, bacon, small pasta I'd considered  buying earlier, and fresh tomatoes and spinach. I'm so tempted to ask her what she's making. 
Another man- tall, and with blonde hair that had been dyed orange in two spots talks on the phone, as he limps along. He's barely comprehensible, due to a speech impediment. I'm not sure if it's that, or a mental handicap. He darts around without focus.
Well, I guess I do that, too... so it doesn't really matter, now does it?
A pale, blonde young mother pushes around the token firetruck car, dressed to the Salvation Army hilt. Her son babbles on, ignored by her distraction of the week's meals. His fluffy golden hair and dark skin are both unique and beautiful. His father, an African American man, joins them.
The cashier finally gets to our items. Apple sauce (which I live on), tortilla chips (five bags- my brother drinks them like water), popcicles (it's summer), and grapes ( I don't care if I die of being poisoned by Mexican pesticides... I need my grapes.). She chews her cud with vengeance. I suppose I'd do the same if I were standing in one place taking peoples' filthy cash for hours. I'd chew whatever necessary to my staying awake to get paid.
Finally leaving, I inhale this side of town. I sure do miss it. The damp, toasty night air carries a faint scent of cigarettes. Comforting, oddly.

The Bench

 It's hard to believe almost six years have passed since this place meant something to me.
It's been six years since I had my heart broken for the first time.
Funny, how it was the end of the world then...
And now my world has turned completely around.

The bench is blue, with a grey, worn-out cushion. Which dips down from having been sat on by one too many a child. I used to sit there, curled up, and watch older boys play basketball. Their squeaky shoes and Old Spice smells were... enchanting. Anything is obviously enchanting when you're fifteen. And yes, I discovered this before Taylor Swift came along.
I fell for the lines. The bait and switch. The wry smile that turned around and graced another girl.

Now it's been empty of me for an entire year. College has taken me even further from the places that remind me of him. There are new hims. And new hers that heal my heart. Which is also new- with different dreams, different loves, and different ideas. These days, I couldn't care less about those cold, stone blue eyes. In fact, all blue eyes scare me. It's the difference between night and day, blue and brown. In blue you can see clearly- lust, bitterness, apathy... in brown you can see only laughter or sorrow. You can get lost.

You can see a tornado coming before twilight- but in the nighttime, you only feel the wind.
You can feel safer losing yourself in an unknown where you just trust, just feel.

Now I look out from this bench and see all colors, darting around shrieking. The little boys play basketball, nearly trampling the tiny ones kicking volleyballs- as the girls toss a soccer ball back and forth. Such chaos. Such beautiful ignorance.
One boy stands all by himself, shooting to an imaginary point on the wall. His dark eyes are lonely. He's waiting for his best friend. Suddenly it's the moment he's been waiting for. Three feet of energy burst into the gym, with ears that stick out of his sandy blond hair. They laugh and giggle and make jet engines out of blocks.
I wonder what else this bench has seen. Perhaps a stolen first kiss? Maybe a winning point no one was brave enough to make in front of an animate audience.
I guess we'll never know.